I Saw You in Me.

I trashed a long piece that I'd written. In its place, is this song of 22 words that goes on for 6 minutes :

I saw you.
In me.

I saw you.
In me.

It's so sad,
Sad to say.

It's so sad,
Sad to say.


Regardless of what I'd felt, what had happened, what was said and what wasn't, it's all come to pass.

I used to wake up, wondering what message you would have sent in the middle of the night and a curve spread across my face when the words that meant nothing to the rest of the world sat and nestled in me.

Meeting you was a fantasy I'd never dared dream would be fulfilled. To be seated across you, face to face, was my childhood fleshing itself between.

The calls, the questions, the silly exchanges, the gifts, meant much to me, if little to you.

I saw You in me.

I thought I'd finally found You. You brought my dream to life, breathing colours of existence in this being.

Silence hinged on Hope.

What I'd wanted to say, I didn't. What I did was out of fear that I'd lose You should things be spelt out. And that, I have done quite splendidly, I must say.

It was wrong to begin with.

When tears fell, You were my comfort. You smiled and said things would be all right. I believed you.

I was ready to grasp with both hands, but it was then that You loosened your grip.

You asked if I were happy, if you'd made me happy. My answer to You, finally is, YES. But it's too late, isn't it? This answer is more than a tad too late. Years have gone by and still.

Behind closed doors, beneath the cheery facade, is a face drenched in tears. In the still of the night, tucked out of sight, Mich cries. Her tears mark the Regret, the Unspoken, the Lost, the What-ifs and the Whys.

You're not coming back for Mich.

I'll never know why You did what You did. Was it was to pay me in my own coin? Was it to prove a point? Was it to satiate your ego? Or was everyone wrong? Was it a figment of my own imagination?

Oh, silly me.

Who am I talking to?

You aren't here. Are You?