Of Yins and Youngs.

I am a Chinese who's not quite Chinese, yet my identification papers yield me as such. I was thrown into a Chinese school based on my academic credentials in everything but Chinese. I got by Higher Chinese examinations by translating everything in my Chinese textbooks into English and memorizing model Chinese sentences. That saved me from a fat zero in sentence construction which was an examination prerequisite.

Home indoctrination propelled me with an inclination towards the English language and culture, weaning on British reading material particularly. Chinese New Year was viewed as a hassle and festivals affiliated with Chinese legends did not register a familarity but Christmas was celebrated with much pomp. Chinese music flooded my ears and I watched Chinese drama serials fervently during prime time. (yes, even the saccharine Qiong Yao serials, but not without a heavy reliance on my precious English subtitles, of course!)

Yet, I was far from being a Chinese maven.

I couldn't speak Mandarin without sounding peculiar. (My friends used to comment that I had the accent of an angmoh when I tried to babble in Mandarin. There's a marked improvement now!) While burrowing through English books was a breeze, trying to string Chinese words and making sense of them in a sentence was particularly taxing on the brain.

Despite being bereft of this language ability, my choice of partners is stagnated within the Chinese gene pool. In a twist of irony, I steer clear of the Caucasian male and am aghast at the Pinkerton Syndrome.

I am a not-quite-Chinese Chinese.
Hear me roar.....in English?