As Cobwebs Lay Thus.

A large part of me has died since 2007 and I've never been the same within, though the plaster on the wall continues to masquerade otherwise.

I admit that it is a daily struggle.

I don't know what good it does to tarry and linger and hope and what-have-yous. In fact, if you were to ask me, I do not quite understand this irrational aspect of myself.

Am I not the confident and articulate go-getter as people deem me to be?

Why then, is this chip a sorry aspect in my life?

As darkness cloaks, tears sidle up and meander forth before finding the ground.

I owe this abyss to You - What is it about You that I cannot release from my consciousness?

I've tried to distance myself and quell the strangled chokes. Yet, all it takes is a word, a smile or a sweet gesture to undo the good that I've calcified.

Is this of hope, malcontent, stubbornness or plain stupidity?

This is me, honest as I am.

I'm afraid of moving, lest You return.

I'm afraid of keeping still, should You not return.

Perhaps You can unlock this quandary.