Upon This Blanched Plebian. =(

Of late, afflictions have been florid in rhetoric.

How so?

A malicious allergy, of which the prime suspect was the platter of tiger prawns, had me itching on the night of V's wedding at Raffles Hotel.

Thereafter, childhood asthma milted my lungs after more than two decades and on certain nights, I have been wheezing upon exhalation.

Determined not to be an outcast, a low-grade fever pays tribute to this plebian on a daily basis, particularly after meals. Pays? the grammar Nazi would frown. Yes, pays - for it plagues me even as I speak, or rather, type.

By now, you would have thought the list has been exhausted. Well, so did I.

• A dull ache in the upper-right abdominal area;
• Mild to severe cramping in said area;
• Diarrhoea lasting two days;
• Nausea;
• Colic;
• Light-headedness;
• A generic sense of surrealism

Meet the rest of the hoi polloi that have been wreaking havoc on my frail institution since 27 November.

The immune system has gone quite awry, I'd say.