'Sweetie.'

It's an addiction - Going cold turkey doesn't help. Indulgence festers guilt.

Now that you're back, I don't know what to say nor do.

I feel like I owe you; I'm obligated towards you because of what I put you through. Yet, the immense amount of pain that has come along with my feelings for you is my debt paid in full.

Words unspoken form an unbearable yoke. It weighs me down.

On the other side of the fence, guilt gnaws away and relishes its decadence.

I'm conflicted as I've been trying to do what is right.

Then, a flutter of the heart comes along.

stumble

I

and

a state of

free fall

ensues.