Sense and Sensibility.

The truth is that you cannot give away what you do not have. If your heart is encumbered with pain and angst, and if your mind is controlled by unconscious patterns, you cannot give unencumbered love to anyone. You become part of the ‘pain chain’, wherein your own hurt is transferred to other people - a ‘victim’ creates another ‘victim’ and the ‘pain chain’ goes on.

Don’t delude yourself into thinking that you can effectively compartmentalise your emotional pain and keep it from infecting your relationship. It requires immense amounts of energy even to keep it contained, where it constantly bubbles waiting to erupt. 

Moreover, the very fact that so much of energy is devoted to containment of the pain undeniably changes you. 

You may have been hurt but understand that those who have victimised you have themselves been a victim of circumstances. One victim victimises another. And you create more victims if you don’t consciously choose to break the ‘pain chain’.

I am not suggesting that you were accountable for what happened to you. Having said that, accountability would mean that the adult holds the responsibility for what he or she does about the aftermath of painful events in life.

If you are aware in the present, you break away from past and you create a new future, and you heal—you are no more a victim, but a survivor.

~ Adapted from Life Positive