The Blame Game.

"Everything that he has become is YOUR fault. Let him go, Mich."

With that, guilt gnaws away at the past.

When I met You, we were wide-eyed young adults.

I had honestly only thought it'd be wonderful to have another friend, one who was amazing like You.

Comments turned to chats before texts and calls followed. You'd wanted to get off the bus to keep me company when You thought that I was alone. Finally, You cornered me one day. We had dinner and dessert, where you fed me for the first time.

That was a really long time ago. 8 years of my youth, to be exact.

Then things happened, forcing each to maintain a facade of friendship while it was everything but. Everyone could tell that something was brewing despite the well-kept charade.

So, all was dandy and fine till You brought me for a birthday treat in November & subsequently, took me to buy all the things you needed in December 2012 before You left.

That night, as we stood face to face, I'd wanted to bolt and run but decided against it. You laughed and said you wouldn't disappear but I did not hear from you personally despite your gazillion updates on Facebook.

Because of that, I decided to slink away. Perhaps I was no longer wanted.
To ignore is to distance oneself.
To protect myself from further hurts.

Till the day of Your loss. The salient silence was broken, albeit temporarily.

It's a mangled mess.

How did I get from the innocent doe-eyed cheerful lady to one who is chockful of sadness but puts on a smile every minute?

Perhaps B is right.

It is my doing.

Whatever You & I have become as individuals, it is MY fault.