Hurt

Are you happy?
I hope you are.
Because I'm not.

I'm sorry.

My Extraordinary Fryday

Friday 26 August 2005

"Oh no!"

With our taxi crawling to a halt, there was little we could do but groan at the line of cars before us on the ECP. My exasperation soon morphed into horror as I caught sight of a bright image juxtaposed against the dark of the night. Hungry flames devoured a car ahead.












(This is not the actual scene.)

We've watched countless scenes of exploding vehicles but none could match the surreal drama unfolding before our eyes. Neither were we prepared for this chilling encounter. Thoughts ran wild and flailing arms of a struggling burn victim plagued my mind. Gripped with fear, I prayed that the damage would be confined to the car. The fire brigade soon arrived and doused the flames from which billowing smoke was arising. By this time, our taxi had inched its way past the blazing car. I shielded myself from witnessing the proximity of this situation as we pulled away.

I remembered the story of Jacqueline Saburido, an attractive young girl who was hit by a car. She was caught in the burning car and her body was heavily burnt for 45 seconds. Her touching story can be read here:
http://groups.northwestern.edu/nightcrawlers/story2.html
















Hopefully, the fate of the nameless, faceless stranger on the ECP does not parallel Jacqueline's.

A Sticky Situation

Scotch^® Tape

---

• The name Scotch Tape actually resulted from an ethnic slur foisted upon manufacturers of the tape—although the product does not have any connection with Scotland or the Scottish.

• In 1925, the automobile industry, eager to satisfy American's craving for two-tone cars, had difficulty making a clean, sharp edge where one color met another. Richard Drew, a laboratory employee primarily involved with abrasives used to make sandpaper at the Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing Company (better known as 3M), developed a two-inch wide strip of paper tape coated with a rubber-based adhesive. To cut costs, the tape was coated with only a strip of glue one-quarter inch wide along the edges, instead of covering the entire two-inch width. Unfortunately, the tape failed to hold properly, and the painters purportedly told the 3M salesmen to "Take this tape back to those Scotch bosses of yours and tell them to put adhesive all over the tape, not just on the edges." The 3M company complied, but when the salesman returned to the automobile paintshop, a painter derogatorily asked him if he was still selling that "Scotch" tape, launching a tradename based on an ethnic slur denoting stinginess. The name, like the improved tape, stuck.

• In 1929, the Flaxlinum Company asked 3M to develop a water- and odor-proof tape to seal the wrapping on insulation slabs in railroad refrigerator cars. Drew coated Du Pont's new moisture-proof cellophane with a rubber-based adhesive, which, while not strong enough for insulation slabs, was marketed as Scotch Tape to the trade as "the only natural, transparent, quick seal for 'Cellophane.'"

• After cows ate the resin-coated fabric on the rudder section of a 1946 Taylor craft airplane, the plane's owner, Edward Bridwell, used Scotch Tape to repair it.

• Ornithologists have used Scotch Tape to cover cracks in the soft shells of fertilized pigeon eggs, allowing the eggs to hatch.

• Landlords in Bangkok, Thailand, have used Scotch Tape to repair cracks in the walls of tenants' apartments.

• Because the end of Scotch Tape tends to stick to the roll, camouflaged by its transparency, John A. Borden, a 3M sales manager, invented the tape dispenser with a ledge to keep the end of tape away from the roll and incorporating a serrated edge to cut the tape.

• During the Depression, banks first used Scotch Tape to mend torn currency.

• During World War II, 3M stopped selling Scotch Tape to civilians because the military wanted it all. At least one American munitions factory used transparent tape as a conveyor belt to move bullets.

• During World War II, England's Ministry of Home Defense used more than ten million yards on windows to minimize flying glass during air raids.

• In 1961, 3M engineers perfected the tape so it would never yellow or ooze adhesive. Scotch Magic Transparent Tape, with its matte finish backing, disappears when applied. It's water resistant and you can write on it.

• Scotch Tape has been used as an anti-corrosive shield on the Goodyear Blimp.

• The Scottish tartans used to designate Scotch Tape were exclusively designed for the 3M Company by New York color consultant Arthur Allen in the 1940s.

• Scotch Tape, the best selling tape of any kind in the world, is found in virtually every home and office in the United States.

  Copyright © 2004 Joey Green. All rights reserved. "Scotch" is a registered trademark of 3M. http://www.wackyuses.com/wf_scotch_tape.html
  

Tide of Emptiness

Step1: Click on http://www.savefile.com/files2.php?fid=8845669
Step 2: Download file.
Step 3: Turn up volume till it's maxed. (the original volume is too soft)
Step 4: Start playing at 00:52 (the first 51 seconds are verbal musings)

I have no idea about the gist of this song. Listening to its woeful tune stirs up melancholic refrains. It haunts my emptiness. This song has been played 11 times continuously. Sometimes, I think I do stupid things to hurt myself, intentionally or subconsciously, at the very least.

流水年华 (I like the words in pink)

朦胧的街灯　静静躺在小雨中　往事又掠过我心头
犹记离别的时候　紧紧握住我的双手
轻轻一句多珍重　眼儿也朦胧

年华似水流　转眼又是春风柔　层层的相思也悠悠
他乡风寒露更浓　劝君早晚要保重
期待他日再相逢　共渡白首

今宵微寒　路上行人匆匆　朦胧的街灯　孤立在雨中
远处传来幽幽的歌声　句句在我心田

Fragments of Me

I'm taking intentional steps. It's irrational but intentional, nonetheless. Right now, I'm just terribly, terribly upset and utterly miserable. Sometimes, I'm overwhelmed by a naive thought. It would be nice if everything were to be taken away with the wave of a magic wand or the Dream Fairy will flutter through the window and take all the emotional baggage away with her. Alas, those are tales meant to deceive children ignorant to the world outside their window.

How much longer can I keep things to myself? How much longer can I put up with this facade? How much longer can I pretend that I do not care? I wish someone had the answer. I wish I had the answer. I know God has the answer but He's not telling me. Yet.

My existence is marred with brokeness. "A broken spirit and a contrite heart. You will not despise. You will not despise....." Tell me why that made tears fall from my eyes. There's so much I wish I could keep and not let go of. I know what I would choose if I had a choice without repercussions. Am I not broken enough? Haven't I learnt many harsh lessons, many of which are irreversible?

I sigh and bury my head in despondence. I'm clutching on with fervent hope, with a desperate, silent plea. I want to delve in my world of escapism but reality forces me to look at it in the eye. Time is running out. I am afraid. The strong fortress has crumbled. I am not as indifferent as I appear to be. Neither am I as bubbly to the point of hogging the conversation at times. The real me is a silent shadow, hoping to remain in its comfort zone of insignificance. The only raw emotion I'm capable of honing is misery.

Adversity has taught me how to be a stronger person on the exterior and not to impose my sadness on others. It would be a selfish act to dampen someone's spirits. Peel away the layers and I'm still the wide-eyed vulnerable girl, tugging at someone's sleeve in a bid for some moments of attention.

Grow up, for crying out loud. I wish I could. Teach me how. Teach me how to forget all the bitterness and strife. Teach me how to forget the past. Teach me how to deal with the current situation. Teach me how to negate every doubt that fills my mind. Teach me. I will learn, only if you teach me how.

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

Sorry.

There'll be the day when I'll have to utter that singular word which none pleases to hear. Displays of weakness and a refusal to fade in the background will lay the groundwork for that. None too optimistic about the subsequent repercussions, I struggle to set things right. Disequilibrium will set in and chaos will reign.
Such an obtuse burden weighs heavily on my mind.

"Sorry". It'll depart from my lips one day. Someday. Eventually.


Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

What I got to do to make you love me?
What I got to do to make you care?
What do I do when lightning strikes me?
And I wake to find that you’re not there?

What I got to go to make you want me?
What I got to do to be heard?
What do I say when it’s all over?
Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

It’s sad, so sad
It’s a sad, sad situation.
And it’s getting more and more absurd.
It’s sad, so sad
Why can’t we talk it over?
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word.

What do I do to make you want me?
What I got to do to be heard?
What do I say when it’s all over?
Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

It’s sad, so sad
It’s a sad, sad situation.
And it’s getting more and more absurd.
It’s sad, so sad
Why can’t we talk it over?
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word.

Yeah. Sorry

What I got to do to make you love me?
What I got to do to be heard?
What do I do when lightning strikes me?
What have I got to do?
What have I got to do?
When sorry seems to be the hardest word.

Reason, Season, Lifetime

Something to ponder on, written by Elscs. Thanks sweetie!

People come into your life for a REASON, a SEASON, or a LIFETIME. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

When people come into you life for a LIFETIME, it is amazing. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (in any way); and put what you have learnt to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

If it´s meant to be, it´ll be. But don't let personal fears & insecurities be the cause of a premature death inside. Just remember that there´s a reason for everything, be it to make us a stronger, happier or better person.