Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Worn.

For the next shall be the Last,
Of that ahead to fade the Past.

And when Once shall be no more,
Wrought in nought the gash to gnaw.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Hobson's Choice.**



I Chose You.
I waited to be Chosen.
Chosen, I wasn't.

He Chose Me.
I had to Choose.
You Chose Silence.

The Choice was made.

If I had to Choose again,
I'd still Choose You.

But, would You Choose Me too?

**Meaning : No real choice at all - the only options being to either accept or refuse the offer that is given to you.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Hello.

You said Hello.
But I don't want to say Goodbye.

The Boy.

The Boy whom I sneaked shy glances at,
The Boy who tinkled his way into my consciousness.
The Boy with whom I waited at the bus stop,
The Boy who grew up and drew close to me.
The Boy who once called, texted or chatted with me for hours daily.
The Boy who invited me to shop for an apartment with him.
The Boy who leant forward with The Gift at the lobby.
The Boy who ordered food and offered to share / feed me.
The Boy whom I avail myself to, whenever I can.
The Boy who makes me Happy.

But this Boy,
This Boy is the One I cannot have.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Please...Don't Fade?

Yushin : There's nobody who can help us. There are only two of us.

Deokman : And?

Yushin : The only ones who can save us are ourselves. Therefore, if we give up, we will surely die. (clutches Deokman's palm) I will never give up. But, if you give up, then it'll make it twice as hard for me. So, please, don't give up.

- Queen Seonduk, Episode 22, part 1.

Deokman : Just like my mother who tried to save me, I'm afraid that you'll die. If that were to occur, I will end up hating myself as much. So, please don't make me turn out that way and just leave me.

Yushin : Pathetic fool! Is that all you came up with? Are you going to give up? Are you going to surrender? ...... And even now, you don't have a choice in this matter.

Deokman : Just leave me! You have a choice!

Yushin : (interrupting vehemently) And I chose you!

- Queen Seonduk, Episode 22, part 2.

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Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Honestly Speaking.

Through the storm I will hold on, Lord
And by faith I will walk on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day
And I will be complete in You.

A common thread that You are familiar with, and so am I.

S.Pastor D.Foo made the altar call in church yesterday and for the first time in my life, I strode forward & received intense prayer from a prayer councillor.

I knew who'd be watching.

It was after all, sprawled at the front of the sanctuary, where the congregation and worship team had a clear view of each and every individual who cast aside apprehension and came forward.

Yet, I knew that the sermon was for me. The 'Suddenlies' that God will be sending in waves. "Never give up" and "Hold on" were the seemingly cliches spouted by the preacher that had an inconceivable grip and increasingly, an augmented consciousness festered.

February 2010 marked an upturn in my life, even though Dad had passed away. Things changed.

Yesterday, I begged God for the revelation of my Destiny, for what I plan to do, transcends beyond personal gain.

It is in the hope of being able to take care of the pillars of my life - Big Koo, Big Ee & Mummy and to voluntarily shoulder the burden of all future medical bills and needs. As of now, hundreds of thousands of dollars have been frittered away on Big Ee's medical bills alone. Big Koo's heart condition has rendered another sum of the same magnitude. Filial piety is a top priority on my list and just as they have provided me with the best of everything, I would want that duty and responsibility to be mine when the need arises.

Thereafter, a strong desire for the underprivileged spurs a Plan. It can only be done if this is God's will for me, for I dream the Impossible.

And then, there's You.

What is God's plan for me with regards to You?

Why is it that each time I give up and force myself to slink away in tears, strings of coincidences occur and invariably, a state of equilibrium is forged as You remain in my life?

"God's work done in God's way will never lack God's resources."

Bless me with Favour and open doors, God.

Guide me and help me, Lord.

So that I will be a blessing to Others,

In every way that I can.

Amen.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Of Which?

Of which to choose and One to be,
The other lost infinitely.
Is there the Left without the Right?
Thus, can a broken wing take flight?

- Mich

Of Tender Sorrow.

Lady Kim (King Jinpyeong's wife) : It's been 20 years since you've seen her. It's time you forgave her (Manmyeong, Empress Manho's daughter, King Jinpyeong's sister).

Empress Manho : Although I told her not to come, she is the daughter who didn't visit me. Not even once. What's the point of forgiving?

[ Queen Seonduk, Ep 11 ]

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Thursday, March 11, 2010

A Small Matter.

Tearing through her belongings, she left no stone unturned.

An hour went by and still, the familiar object was nowhere to be seen.

Tantalizing doubts gave way to frantic disorder.

Unbridled lamentations and trickles were accorded.

"Jesus, Help Me," she cried.

A brilliant emanation yielded and thereafter, she found what she had sought desperately.

Retiring in its rightful place, it nestled on her finger.

It did matter to her after all.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

In Her Little Locket.

1995
1996
1997
1998
1999
2000
2001
2002
2003
2004

Ivory.
Gazing.
Waiting.
Silence.

2005
2006
2007
2008
2009
2010

Hello.
The New Paper.
Bus.
House.
Tank.
Drinks.
Dessert.
Song.
Smiles.
Card.
Coffee.
Tears.
Came.
Left.
Songs.
Dinners.
SMSes.
"Why?"
"You're already taken."
Movie.
Dinner.
Laughs.
Car.
Goodbye.
Mirror.
Kitten.
Pup.
Shattered.
Abyss.
Day.
Night.
Trickles.
Resigned.
Email.
Surprise.
Treat.
Left.
Valentine's.
Shelved.
Rex.
Seahorse.
Songs.
Smiles.
Happy.
Day.


Little by Little,
Day by Day.
The morning glory fades
And spills an ashen fray.

With each hour she waits
For the chance to bloom.
These yellowed petals bow
To yield a clutching gloom.


Of which she cannot say,
To that she wished she knew.
Tucked in her little locket
Are tales gone by with You.

- Mich

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

A Gentle Whisper From Me.

Where sky meets the sea,
Goodnight, You.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Inter Alia **among other things

What's the worst that can happen?

What can be more wretched than not even trying?

Pride, inter alia, is but an augmented stumbling block.

An impaired decision is far better than None at all.

Getting somewhere is a cut above lulling in egregrious inertia.

宁死不屈。

When push comes to shove, it's time to dive.

The Qu@nts.

The Perks of a Dior Member.



Hailed as one of the most expensive mascaras ever to hit the retail market, Extase can be yours once you hand over S$50 at a Christian Dior counter.

However, as a Dior member, Mich simply waltzed over and produced the pretty mailer she'd received. Promptly, she received a tube of Extase that was approximately half that of the retail size.

As Mich is allergic to certain chemicals found in makeup, each new product is tested with trepidation.

She's rather pleased that Extase will not be yet another expensive mistake if it turns out to be disastrous. Cue prior purchases from Dior - Lip Maximizer & Dior Addict Ultra Gloss - that racked up medical bills of $100 for each visit to the doctor's.

Here we go - Inhale....Exhale....Extase....

Saturday, March 06, 2010

For Drapes And Tapestry Have Shrouded Thus.


An envincement to earmark divine afflatus, these words presaged the Epiphany which transpired.

You will achieve if you believe.

For far too long, Mich had sidled alongside drapes and tapestry, so to speak.

Mired by moirai-laced castigation, the dust had grudgingly settled.


Yes, Renascence is nigh.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

What If?


A cold stark question from an advertisement that beguiled as I logged into Facebook.
Ignoring its context (and spam), this question would be befitting to the current lull, specifically, mine.

What If?
What If....Not?

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

The Paradox of Being Happy.

The recent spate of events has led Mich to conclude as such - that perhaps, It may well be so.

But as she edges towards the enticing cliff with nary a whiff of assured reality, each step sends trepidation.

Will she tumble off the cliff and plunge towards an infinite abyss?

She knows not.

What Ifs plague her.

The Happier she is, the greater the Fear.

As this continuum claims its spot, she shuts her eyes and moves forth with Hope.

Monday, March 01, 2010

Change.

With time as spare Change, let's talk about, well, Change.

Fledgling that I once was, a Changeling with nought to spare, immaculate propriety has given rise to structure and form.

And likewise, perched on the dusty ledge is a Change in literary styles.

I've Changed, haven't I?

But there are some things that just don't Change. =)

好吗?

“ 宁为玉碎,不为瓦全。”

平时踏实的我,却因一股冲动而把一丝一毫霍了出去。

话并非需言,只要梦能栩栩如生地包围着我,就已足够。

很感激近来你所给的时间与宠爱。 

这条路,与我同行,好吗?

沙滩, David Tao

At times, the beauty of a song stems from the poetic discourse of its lyrics. And this, is an example as such.

空无一人这片沙滩
风吹过来冷冷海岸
我轻轻抖落鞋里的沙
看着我的脚印
一个人一步步
好寂寞

看海有些绿天有些蓝
那段爱情有些遗憾
像不知不觉游向海天
到最深的地方
才发现你早已经
放弃我

我听着海浪温柔的呼吸
我看着云朵飘来飘去
有什么方法
让自己真的忘记

Only blue, only blue
爱让人好忧郁
我的心我的心
蓝蓝地

我真的想找一条船
能远远离开这片沙滩
每次又回到同样海边
还是对你想念
想念你有点blue
没有人能像你
留给我的回忆
有点
blue ooh
Only blue