Nothing To Rav About

Saturday night was ______________. (fill in blank with any negative word)

(1) It was supposed to be an outing comprising of 6-8 people. A whopping sum of eighteen people turned up at Mr Bean's. Being late, our deserved placing was at the end of the table, where basically only 5 people were within earshot. Rich, an obnoxious person of dubious identity, since nobody really ascertained his identity, clung on like a leech all night. Loud and brash, he attempted to joke at the wrong moments, sending the entire table into periodic moments of awkward silence. Turning over to Leion helplessly, I hissed into his ear about my growing impatience towards Rich. Ding read my body language and he was soon over to rescue me by swopping seats with Rich on the pretext of mingling around with the others. Utterly grateful for that, we eased into a friendly conversation with the rest.

(2) Eu turned up unexpectedly with his other half and that clammed me up the whole night. Girlfriend from Hell she is, she has coerced him into messaging all his female friends from time to time, expressing his "decision" to terminate their friendship. Needless to say, I was a victim when she scrutinized his logs and messages. Bearing an inferiority complex, she wields absolute power over him much like an Empress Dowager does to a eunuch. Constantly at her beck and call, he's done more than he could and should. The irony? She's slept with more guys than the total number of digits on my limbs. Justification? Eu had riled her and in her impulsive rage, a bedding spree was ignited to spite him. Can you blame me for clamming up the moment I saw her? I didn't want Eu to get into further trouble since Ms Gasoline was spontaneously combustible.

(3) The hours and minutes ticked past rather painfully. At approximately 10pm, I leaned over to Hum who was 3 seats away and gesticulated a drinking session after Mr Bean's. He nodded in fervent glee. At 11pm, the group dispersed and indivduals trickled away into the shadows of the night. 10 of us were left. Ding had to be in church the next morning (so was I!) and left with Vi. 8 people standing. Rich had overheard our post-outing plan and was hanging around. URGH. Desperately pleading with Zhihao and Chris to join us, I nearly snapped when
they declined and Rich self-inducted himself into the group. Six of us. I was muttering under my breath.

(4) To up his popularity, Rich suggested that we headed to Rav at Boat Quay. The owner was his friend and cover charges would be waived. Enticed by the exterior I had came across previously, I agreed reluctantly. BIG MISTAKE. It got to the point that Vern and I actually holed ourselves in the lavatory for a long while. It was our sole recluse away from Mr Urgh. The boss came over later and proposed a toast to us. Honourable...Not. Despite having the cover charges waived, drinks came with a hefty price tag at $40 per jug. A jug wasn't even sufficient to fill 6 glasses and a 2nd jug had to be ordered. Two drinks each, loaded with ice. Technically, it was $14 for a brimming glass of vodka each. Commercial pop was spun. I kid you not when I say that "Addicitive" (by Truth Hurts) was played at least 6 times consecutively.

(5) Time slipped away into the night inconspicuously. It was 2 am. Rich was STILL with us. Ignoring him completely, I beckoned the rest for supper. Deliberating over the location of choice, Jalan Kayu was finally settled upon. In K's car, Rich remained blissfully unaware of his notoriety and continued with his intolerable behaviour. Hum and Vern were visibly peeved but remained cordial. A wrong turn meant we were cruising along in the opposite direction. Tucking into roti prata & mee goreng, Rich was ostensibly ignored by now. We left after supper and by a stroke of unfortunate coincidence, Rich lived near Vern. Hence, Hum, Vern & Rich alighted at the same stop and K drove me home. Bedtime? Past 5am. Time to stir? 7.30 am.

(Disclaimer: It's not within me to be mean to others but when someone starts making derogatory remarks and putting down others while thinking it's a formula for a great joke, it is a recipe for disaster. More importantly, a lack of basic courtesy never fails to irk me. On hindsight, my patience was stretched to a limit and that increased my threshold of tolerance towards crude and rude people like Rich. A continuum of life's lessons. o_O)

Photographs Below:
(1) Chris on the phone
(2) Before we arrived at Mr Bean's
(3) Us at Mr Bean's
(4) Us at Mr Bean's (Rich's smudged)
(5) Us at Mr Bean's
(6) Hum, Vern, Me & K at Rav VIP section
(7) Hum, Vern, Me & K at Rav VIP section

*Rich has been cropped from the last 2 photographs*

Seeing Dbl

Thursday 23 June 05: Woke up at 5.30 am. Slept at 2am
Friday 24 June 05: Woke up at 5.30 am. Slept (hopefully) at 4am......
Rhetorical question: Do we observe a pattern here?


*lights, camera, action*
More pics to come.....right now, sleep's beckoning me......-double yawn-
As promised, more pics of Thursday's night out at Dbl O & O Bar.




First shot: looking prim and proper....












2nd shot: getting comfy with one another













3rd shot: Candid shot reveals these woozy 3












4th shot: Thumbs up for finishing our drinks!












5th shot: Absolutely NO MORE drinks after Round 4!












Final parting shot: Gone with the drinks~ Leion lost his balance and as a result, I dangled from the armrest of the couch. Nevertheless, it didn't affect this pic!

nonsense

time our steps imprint
walls we've built unseen
words unspoken since
fill the gap between

Much Ado About Nothing

Saturday 18 June 2005
- Roamed around Orchard Rd with K. Met Ee for dinner. Met Rendall for supper. What a transformation! Dark, tanned and visibly happier, my "elder brother" is now a hunk! I'm very proud of Rendall as he had suffered during his adolescent years. His father had passed away and left the family with a surmounting medical debt. Struggling on a daily basis, he cleared the debt gradually over the years. Although it had taken a toll on him, he persevered, scrimped and saved his way through university eventually. His pile of handwritten letters remains in my possession. We had written to each other while studying in different junior colleges. Some letters had a total of ten pages! Rendall is one whom I have utmost respect towards and I'm fiercely protective of him even till today. =)

Sunday 19 June 2005
- Attended Ed's wedding dinner with 32/96. The banquet ended early. Bantered with Jan and Ai Li. Jan had to return to his law firm after the dinner. What a bummer. Ai Li & Penn gossiped about their colleagues at ST & Today respectively. We learnt quite a lot about those journalists! Karl Ho's leaving ST to join the banking industry. Gee...I'll miss reading his articles. Vic entertained and sent us squealing at his job anecdotes. The constant camaraderie among us was undeniable. Nostalgia was the theme of the night. 32/96 had been a united class and immense schmaltz was evoked throughout the night. True to our class tradition, many of us whipped out our digital cameras and went ballistic. Hung out with Jan and the rest for a quick drink before Jan sent us home. Jan's Lexus was hot and Penn kept raving about it. Jan suggested hanging out again at Thumper......akan datang~

Monday 20 June 2005
- Watched "Mr & Mrs Smith". Two words : Smouldering chemistry.

... ... Dot Dot Dot ... ...

Fantastic. I've just learnt something new (read: more bad news).

Danny was talking about getting his class 2A license soon. Midway through our conversation, he mentioned that a colour blindness test was essential prior to the commencement of the actual course. Well, I've no problems telling the difference between red, amber and green, thank you very much. I've no qualms separating teal from turquoise or aquamarine either. Colour coordination has never been a problem for me. Well, so what's the problem?

There was a year in primary school when nurses from MOH infested our school for the dreaded annual check-up. During one of the mandatory checks, I was made to stare at a circle of kaleidoscopic dots and identify the number which emerged from that visual exercise. Apparently, I could not do so. The nurse repeated this process with a series of similar dotted cards, all of which I was unable to identify the number within the visual maze. Something must be wrong. True enough, she scribbled the words "red-green deficiency" on my health booklet. A few years later, I recall having to submit a photocopy of that certification for my 'O' Levels (to plead for leniency if I should mix the green precipitates with the red ones? -_- )

I can tell green from red. See, that wasn't very hard, was it? Otherwise, Christmas would be a sad season for me indeed. Imagine singing "rudolph the red...no...green...no...red...urgh..whatever....nosed reindeer...."

My fate is sealed by the catastrophic inability to worm my way through those dots. F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C. Comfort DelGro ought to issue me a lifetime loyalty reward or membership to that effect since that is effectively a death sentence on any attempt to get a motorised vehicle on the road.

I'm green with envy at the majority of the populace without this handicap.
I'm seeing red at being penalised for my inability to make out a figure amongst those dots!

Meanwhile, I should learn to cycle..... --wry grin--


Note: Forgive the dripping sarcasm. Mich is feeling low at this point of time. :(

Night Eating Syndrome (NES)

Imagine a scenario where you get up in the morning with absolutely no hunger. You don't eat. As the day wears on, you drink a lot of coffee. You eat a light lunch or snack.Come dinnertime you're ravenous. You eat dinner. But then you snack after dinner almost continuously right up to the time you go to bed. Your choices might include candy, cookies, potato chips or ice cream. This is the pattern day after day for people with Night Eating Syndrome (NES).

Night Eating Syndrome (NES) is a form of compulsive eating. It is commonly seen in those who are overweight. Doctors believe that NES may be caused by a defect in the sufferer's body clock. Foods eaten during the binge often contain many calories and unhealthy. The night eating behaviour seems totally beyond the effected sufferer's control. For these individuals, 35% or more of their calories are consumed after dinner. Following the night binge, the person is often not hungry in the morning. Individuals suffering from NES are often caught in the vicious cycle of binge eating during the night and eating less in the day. Night eating syndrome affects about 1 percent to 2 percent of the general population.

1. The signs and symptoms of Night Eating Syndrome (NES) include the following:

• Not feeling hungry in the morning. Typically the person has little or no appetite for breakfast and delays the first meal for several hours after waking. [ YES: Breakfast was never part of my daily routine in my entire life. Upon waking up, I've no appetite to eat /drink anything till hours later. ]

• Overeating in the evening. In contrast to a lack of appetite in the morning, the person consumes more than one-half of his or her daily food intake after dinner but before breakfast and often has more food after dinner than during that meal. [YES: Consumption of food is zilch for breakfast, a lightweight lunch follows after that, and the total food intake for dinner is twice that of breakfast and lunch. More often than not,nocturnal online activity guarantees another bout of eating ]

• Difficulty falling asleep. The individual finds it hard to fall asleep. He or she may toss and turn for some time and feel a need to eat something just before going to bed to help him or her fall asleep faster. [ MAYBE: Falling asleep can be a chore unless I'm really bushed. Tossing and turning for approximately 30 minutes is my nightly ritual. However, I do not get up to eat something to hasten the journey to slumberland. ]

• Waking at night and eating. The person may wake at least once during the night and find it necessary to eat before being able to fall asleep again. [NO: On a normal working day, I've barely 4-5 hours of sleep. Why would I choose food over sleep?!]

• The eating produces feelings of guilt and shame, not enjoyment. [MAYBE: While I dig into the heavenly prata/cornetto/minced pork noodles/wanton mee/whatever catches my fancy, I'm aware of the sinful remnants residing within.]

• Feeling depressed. In addition to eating and sleeping problems, the individual may feel sad or disconsolate. Especially at night, the individual may be moody, tense, anxious, or agitated. [MAYBE: When the world's asleep, it's the best time for self-reflection. The quiet of the night allows me to shut out the daily nuances and concentrate on nothing else but myself. It allows room for thought and heightens any emotion evoked during the day.]

2. Identifying Night Eating Patterns

NES can assume a number of different forms or patterns. The authors of the book Overcoming Night Eating Syndrome: A Step-By-Step Guide to Breaking the Cycle discuss four different types of night eaters:
• the compelled evening and nighttime overeater;
• the anxious/agitated night eater;
• the cravings night eater; and
• the all-or-nothing belief about sleep night eater.6

The compelled evening and nighttime overeater is described as someone who doesn’t get up to eat in the middle of the night but does consume most of his or her calories in the evening and nighttime. Often, the individual will stay up late and continue eating after the evening meal.

In contrast, the anxious/agitated night eater wakes up at night plagued with anxiety-provoking thoughts that create stress and agitation. For this type of eater, the physical agitation directs his or her to food as a means to calm down.

The cravings night eater experiences overwhelming food cravings. For this individual, eating a certain food is the primary goal, not so much whether or not it will help facilitate sleep. After having the desired food, he or she will frequently experience remorse, guilt, and even physical distress.

Finally, the fourth type of night eater—described as the all-or-nothing belief about sleep night eater—is concerned about not getting enough sleep. In this pattern, the person is focused on sleep, not food. When the person wakes up in the middle of the night, he or she uses food as a means to help get back to sleep with the belief that eating will help him or her relax and thus aid in achieving better sleep.

==> Conclusion: I must belong to the first group of compelled evening and nighttime overeaters. I'm too lazy to drag myself out of bed for any munching activity but I do have a voracious appetite at night.

3. Triggers for Night Eating Syndrome
They include depression, anxiety, interpersonal stressors, boredom, prolonged dieting, and body image dissatisfaction. Night eating may temporarily relieve the stress of these unwanted feelings, but for the night eater these episodes are unfortunately followed by feelings of guilt, shame, disgust, and further depression.

I've never had any weight issues. Aneroxia & bulimia were never part of my worries as I live to eat. Food's an important part of my life! I'm a walking stick insect and the heaviest I've ever been was 48kg in 1996. Aside from that year of the Fat, my weight has always hovered around 42 to 44kg consistently during this decade. It is indeed strange and unnerving to uncover Night Eating Syndrome in a random google search.

--URGH--

The End

It is time to stop.

ImprompTWO

Nur rang at 10am while I was strolling in Snoozeland. It was only at 1pm when I finally stirred and returned her call. Hastily, I got ready and rushed to meet her at 3.30pm. Suntec was boring, as always, and after two hours of mindless walking, I got myself two CDs of Travis and Keane. (reminder to self: return Fandy's CD after the holidays.) HMV and Tower Records did not have a single CD of Switchfoot's. Later, we took a random stroll towards Boat Quay via Empress Place.

As she was about to leave, James called and asked me out unexpectedly at 6.45pm. Hopping into his car half an hour later, we drove around Boat Quay before proceeding to Siglap where he changed his mind and we were off to Tampines. As we approached our destination, he decided to make a U-turn and we finally made our way to East Coast. I must add that we were in the car for an hour. Great food awaited us as we tucked into hot plate tofu, chicken, mixed vegetables and chilli crabs. Miraculously, we managed to consume that amount of food. -smacks lips- It was pouring and he sheltered me with his umbrella as we walked a distance to his car. "Romantic, eh?" he jibbed, while I rolled my eyes in mock disdain. We met a friend of mine and she mumbled that James was "really cute". Perhaps familiarity breeds contempt as being firm friends since 1996, nothing beyond platonic friendship could ever evolve. Teasing him mercilessly about my friend's remark, we chatted till 10.30pm. We shared our woes and went for a short spin in his car. At 11.30pm, I was at the carpark near my home. As I got out of the car, he asked if I could continue chatting with him in the car. He was evidently drained from an entire day at work, so I told him to return home and rest instead.

I had started the day with no intention of stepping out of the home. Yet, today was one of the most enjoyable times for me. I need to do this more often. Occasional, impromptu meet-ups are fun! However, the innate control freak within myself will struggle to accept a high frequency of such meetings.

I must reiterate the summary of today's events in two words: "Emotionally gratifying!" James is great company!

Retail Therapy With Vern

Today was indeed physically exhausting and financially draining.

Vern was scheduled to meet me at Orchard MRT at 1pm but she was late. Those critical ten minutes of her pending arrival left me ten dollars poorer as a man approached me with a stack of coupons that contributed to the schooling needs of the less fortunate . Following that, another persistent (albeit good-looking) young chap hounded me for my number, to which I firmly refused to divulge. Boy was I relieved when Vern finally turned up. We had a mission - to abuse our credit cards mercilessly.

Lunch was a quick and simple affair at McDonald's. A few bites of a cheeseburger and sips of a cup of iced lemon tea and we were off! First stop : Forever 21 at Wisma Atria. I must mention that Forever 21 is one of my favourite labels for quirky and zany stuff. The initial euphoria at garnering six tops to be fitted in the changing room soon dwindled to a pout. None of the items were in dire need of being in my possession. Vern bagged a brown skirt and we were off to Scotts Shopping Centre.

At Bysi, my card was swiped happily for the sake of two silk chiffon skirts - mustard and turquoise - a steal at $55 each. I was convinced that was the deal of the day. Soon, I learnt that it was naivete on my part as another mustard skirt caught my eye at Far East Plaza and the cash register chimed merrily. Roaming across the street to Isetan Scotts, a pair of Nine West shoes appealed to me. The initial price was $145 and the current sale price was $101.50. Fortunately, there wasn't a pair in my size. Undeterred, we proceeded to Zara's flagship store across the road. Hesitant to purchase an orange bohemian halter and a stupendously short flared skirt, I walked out of the store empty-handed. Before that, the price tag of a white prairie skirt astounded Vern as she exclaimed, "Wow! $175!" Further ahead, we returned to Wisma Atria and popped over at Topshop which was a complete waste of time. At this moment, Ting arrived at Topshop and we headed to the Heeren.It was 4.30pm. ....

I'm too woozy now to continue. I shall plonk myself on that comfy bed. Mich's Retail Therapy (part 2) will return tomorrow.... 3.15AM Friday June 10, 2005

As promised, here's the continuation of part 2:
At Heeren, we glanced through the numerous racks of clothes. One particularly interesting shop was Kai and Ting was enticed by the ultra short hipster mini that measured approximately 20cm. We found ourselves at URS thereafter and Vern purchased a pair of ballet pumps with diamante straps. Satisfied with our progress, we marched towards the direction of Plaza Singapura where another skirt from Bysi found its new owner, yours truly. Ting hesitated over the purchase of Escada's Sentiment before placing it back on its display shelf. Thereafter, she bade us goodbye and went home at 6.30pm.

Vern suggested a quick meal at the food court while I preferred Cafe Cartel. Eventually, we settled on the food court. Gobbling a bowl of ramen and beef noodles respectively, we pondered on our next stop. The time was approximately 7pm. Our determination to save was dissolved when Vern conveniently flagged a cab and we were off to Bugis. Another Bysi boutique lay in my path and I remained valiantly stoic in my refusal to enter the Land of Evil. Vern was disappointed when she was failed to locate a pair of slippers in her size at Pretty Fit.To console herself,a Bond's camisole was quickly in her possession. The time was now 10pm.

Ending the day with a bang, supper was at Gelare's along Siglap. -burp-

Total damage to the wallet? $260.

We must do this again in December , Vern!

Finally! I can now share my songs with you...

I've uploaded the following songs onto my webpage:

1. Travis - Writing To Reach You
2. Switchfoot - Let That Be Enough

Both MP3s and Lyrics are available for downloading.

Why did I stop at 2 songs? Good question.Yahoo Geocities Pagebuilder hung at some point of time and refused to accept any additional files. I will continue my stringent quest in uploading poignant songs.

Meanwhile, these two songs have been playing continually on my computer today. I must note that "today" constitutes approximately twelve hours of online activity.

Travis - Writing to Reach You

Another lazy blog entry....this song is awesome.

TRAVIS - Writing To Reach You Lyrics

Every day I wake up and it's Sunday
Whatever's in my head won't go away
The radio is playing all the usual
And what's a wonderwall anyway

Because my inside is outside
My right side's on the left side
'Cos I'm writing to reach you
But I might never reach you
I long to teach you about you
But that's not you

It's good to know that you are home for Christmas
It's good to know that you are doing well
It's good to know that you all know I'm hurting
It's good to know I'm feeling not so well

Because my inside is outside
My right side's on the left side
'Cos I'm writing to reach you
But I might never reach you
I long to teach you about you
But that's not you
Do you know it's true
And that won't do

Maybe then tomorrow will be Monday
And whatever's in my head should go away
Still the radio keeps playing all the usual
And what's a wonderwall anyway

Because my inside is outside
My right side's on the left side
'Cos I'm writing to reach you
But I might never reach you
I long to teach you about you
But that's not you
Do you know it's true
And that won't do
You know it's you
I'm talking to

Sat-urday Act-tivity

I sat with my chin propped on my palms. Watching the waves crashing against the shore, I had an innate burden. Surrounding me were drones of laughter, billowing tents cramped with family enthusiasts, parents chiding their bundles of joy and other sights. Me? I had an impeccable shroud of silence for company. One. Two. Two streams of tears ran down my cheeks. Unnoticed, I wiped them away hurriedly.

"Helloooo, Nur!" I chirped merrily into the phone, metamorphosizing into my usual social butterfly mode. "Dinner? Sorry, I've plans. Some other day, ok?" As I placed the phone into my bag, I congratulated myself for being an Oscar-worthy actress. Dinner? Famished since I'd skipped breakfast and lunch, scraps of palatable edibles would suffice. Plans? Indeed. I had plans to stare at the sea, wallowing in solitude.

Sunset soon beckoned. I got up to my feet and wiped the sand off my shoes.

Kr**********

And so, it is done.

Kr is shattered. His worst nightmare has just lived out itself. He doesn't deserve this. Kr's a fantastic, sensitive guy who's always placed others above himself. Despite his silent sacrifices, few actually appreciate him. Deep down, he has a futile hope that circumstances can and may be reversed. But we all know better, don't we?

Approximately an hour on the phone and the conversation's still going on....

I feel sad for Kr. Good guys like him shouldn't be made to suffer like that. Ah well, but God has His purpose and His plan for us. In the words of Elder Daniel Foo, "Nothing occurs by chance." Until Kr finds the purpose and reason for this emotional scar, I can only pray for him and be there for him as a friend. He's been a rather good friend, or rather, "sister" (he's perfectly straight, no queer business hovering around). Now's my turn to return the favour.

Back to the phone.....