Friday, September 30, 2005

F-A-T

All I did was to mention that I was hungry. Dank had to proceed on a lengthy chant "supper, supper, supper/eat, eat, eat/ fat, fat, fat"

Lo and behold! A moment of inspiration.......
Dank says: what's the letter after E? it's F! that's why Fat is spelt F-A-T.. it's what happens when you E-A-T.
Dank says: ...daniel just thought of that! woo...
Dank.says: it's going up on daniel's blog now
sweet_dreams says: i'm glad to ignite that spark in u

Yes, I'm too lazy to edit this. Heh. =)

(*note: Does Daniel notice the change now? =P )

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Flights of Fancy

Remember Fandy aka Mr I-can't-stop-touching-myself?












Well, he's joined Power98's PowerJam, a band competition. Guess what? After whittling down to the final 5, he's still part of the competition. His band? The Great Spy Experiment. He showed us a clip online and I've got to say they're pretty good. At Contact Time today, Fandy related to us how he was caught offguard when DJ Mario called him up and requested that he articulated "Hi, this is Fandy. Catch us ......(not sure about the content) ". Fandy ended up with an accent that lent suspicion to him being part of the closet camp. Leroy was chortling as Fandy repeated his lines.


















Music Day's coming up. Leroy and I are the organisers. It's going to be a competition of sorts akin to Singapore Idol, Project Superstar and the likes, with elimination processes meted out. Local celebrity guest judges will be invited to participate in this event. Right now, Project Superstar's Male Finalist Hong Junyang, has been tentatively added to the list, thanks to Jiahui who's in his cell group. I'm liasing with Sly's (yes, Sylvester Sim) manager to check if his schedule permits. (Eat your hearts out, girls! I've the number! Ok, that was a juvenile moment.) Leroy is pushing for press coverage. Hopefully, Ai Li will be able to cover this event for Straits Times. I suppose it's subjected to her editor's approval. Ai Li suggested using Ginny, but I figured that Ginny wasn't exactly a household name yet. I'd met Ginny last week but had lost her contact number together with my phone. Thanks to Ai Li, I've managed to retrieve her contact. I guess Ginny can be our backup plan.

Well, everything's still in the stage of infancy...I like that word...In-fancy. If everything fancy goes as planned, then you may just witness our pilot project in print! If not, well, there will be the usual pictures posted here.....Oh well......

A Spark in the Distant Skies

Companion at this moment : A bittersweet smile.
Background: Poignant song I had last heard more than a decade ago, way before R&B was run-out-of-the-mill and cheapened by today's commercial standards.
Star: A spark in the distant skies
Thoughts triggered by this song: We know that we know. If only I know what you know.

ATLANTIC STARR - MY BEST FRIEND (click to download the song)

The first time I looked in your eyes I knew

There was something special inside of you
You awakened my passion and my curiosity
You were so sincere, I knew you’d be there for me

Ooh, you gave me joy that I never knew
You were so dear to me love me ‘cause I needed you
You’ve help me get through the worse times in my life
You’ve shared my sadness , my pain, my strife

Whenever I dream the impossible dreams
You assured me that they would come true
You stayed in my corner no matter what life would bring
And I pledged my love to you

You are the piece of the puzzle I need
To make my life full and complete
I love you so
And thanks for being my best friend

Ooh, just like the rain falling to the ground
You washed away my doubts and turned my life around
You made everything good in my life that was bad
Oh, you’re the greatest friend that I ever had

I want you to be right here beside me
Forever and a day
For you are my strength , you are my future
And I need you here to stay

You are the piece of the puzzle I need
To make my life full and complete
I love you so
And thanks for being my best friend

Oh, what did I give you
In return for the hope that you’ve given me
Just ask and whatever you want
It will be, it will be

You are the piece of the puzzle I need
To make my life full and complete
I love you so
And thanks for being my best friend

Monday, September 26, 2005

Who on earth is "Ronald"?

This is a weird message I'd received from some stranger who goes by the moniker "Ronald" :

Hi there, I am new person here (sic)

I would like to introduce myself to you please

I currently here for business and projects with
HP Singapore

Kindly provide your contact number then we can
start to communicate by the phone

I hereby would like to volunteer myself to be your steady boyfriend

Thank you

O_O
That's just plain weird. Thanks for the offer but I'll pass.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Black Eyed Peas Concert

An overdue post on the Black Eyed Peas' Concert on Tuesday, 20 September 2005
  • 6.30pm: waited for cab
  • 6.50pm: finally got one
  • 7.15pm: reached Mac's@kallang
  • 7.40pm: started walking towards Kallang Indoor Stadium (Big mistake. It's not as near as I'd thought!)
  • 8.10pm: finally got into the stadium after getting past the queue to enter.
  • 8.20pm: Perfect 10's Beatbox Competition Finals. The winner is just 15 years of age!
  • 8.40pm: Daniel Ong creates hype and anticipation of BEP's arrival.
  • 8.45pm: Floodlights go out. Stage's illuminated with dim blue lights.
  • 9.00pm: Still waiting.....All we can see are shadows darting about on the stage with no concrete indication of the concert commencing......Quick trip to the washroom.
  • 9.10pm: Screams have died down. Some people behind me jeered as BEP's recorded songs filled the stadium. (Hello? It's a c-o-n-c-e-r-t!)
  • 9.15pm: Finally. Fergie belts out an intro.
  • For the next 1hr45mins: Hot, Hot, Hot! Prior to the concert, I was only familiar with Where Is The Love, Hey Mama, Shut Up, Don't Phunk With My Heart, Pump It & My Style. Still, the catchy beats were hard to resist even though half the time it was hard to make out what those guys were rapping about. Heh. The crowd went wild when the first few notes of Where Is The Love resounded. BEP got everyone to fish out their cellphones and wave in sync as they sang. Each light represented a life in the various disasters that hit the world recently - the tsunami, Katrina, Iraq War, constant civil unrest in Africa,etc. They gave a touching short message with reference to that and some were moved to tears. BEP's music isn't exactly the most intellectual, soothing or grooviest but they sure know how to work out a crowd! Even the staid white-collared men present jumped to their feet and bobbed their heads to the music. Not a single soul in the stadium was seated.It was better than clubbing!
  • 11.00pm: A rather abrupt end to the concert. No encore? Bah!
  • 11.10pm: Out of the stadium. Walk, walk, walk to the bus stop at PA. Stopped at Katong to hail a cab.
  • Before 1am: Finally home! 4 hours of sleep till reality strikes again in the form of work.










Monday, September 19, 2005

Mr Raju's Birthday Celebration

Date : 16 September 2005, Friday
Event : - PSLE Listening Comprehension (morning)
- Mr Raju's (HOD - PE) Birthday Celebration (afternoon)
Place : Safra Resort (Shore Restaurant) --> Fantastic resort ambience
Bill : close to $700
Present: less than $200



While talking to LL at 8am, she lunged at me suddenly and swept me off my feet. As she let go of me abruptly, my brand new heels scraped against my foot. "OWWWWWWWW! " Too late. Fresh red blood oozed out of that perfect line and an itsy bitsy ball of flesh peeled away from my foot, igniting cries of "eeeew!" and wrinkled noses. This picture was taken at night and it was STILL bleeding. -_-

Being the early birds, Jayne and I had nothing to do. snapped this picture of Kelvin speaking to Mr Lee. Note Kelvin's stance. You can't take the student out of Kelvin!

Mr Raju's birthday present - a digital G-shock. Low drove Jiahui,Charlene,Bee Hong and I to Tampines Mall to purchase this before rushing to Shore Restaurant.

Charlene and I wrapping the gift in a hurry.

Charlene and I : "Left over right or right over left?"

Group shot: Sand, Sun, Wind. Lovely!

Group Shot 2: More Sand, Sun, Wind!

Group Shot 3: Under the shade. Wind in our hair. Sea on our left. Splendid!

LL getting in the way (again!) as I tried to take a candid shot of the 4 guys.

Jiahui leaping onto LL...

Jiahui on Liana instead, with LL holding on in relief.

Delectable Mango ice-cream....-slurp-

Liana to me: "You weigh nothing!"

Kelvin trying to be cool. Fandy just can't resist touching himself, can he? Leroy's trying to get his head out of the way. Nice try, guys.

Individual serving of the mango ice-cream. The cost of the ice-cream alone is an eye-popping $120. Yes, we had that "good-grief-it's-one-hundred-and-twenty-dollars?!" bewilderment. O_O

Happy Birthday, Mr Raju! -clap clap-

Something's happened

Something's just happened.

I hope you're happy because I am pretending to be. I am putting on a smile so that you can lead your life. Right now, at this moment, something's happened. My cheeks are wet and the wretched heart weeps within. I'm not stupid. I'm not ignorant. I'm not blissfully unaware of certain things.

If this is God's test, I'm not doing very well, am I?

Never in my life has there been such a test as great as this. Do not ask me "How are you?" unless there is genuine concern.Small talk is redundant and a waste of time unless both parties are sincerely engaged in it.

What am I typing? I don't even make sense to myself. Why do I hesitate on every word in each sentence? What am I being cautious about? How can words right the wrong which has accumulated over time?

It's my fault. It always has been, hasn't it? Nothing is ever right, no matter how hard I try. The best I get is a consolatory smile, as if in mock pity for my nullified efforts. This facade is getting tiring. I want to throw down the mask and be the real me.

There are many questions with no concrete answers. There are many answers that I evade with each unspoken question. Contradictory gestures and words complicate matters. Issues that probably do not matter to anyone else besides myself.

The sun's where you are right now. Your day is complete, unlike mine.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

You're Beautiful

Be happy wherever you are. You have what you need beside you. =```)

James Blunt - You're Beautiful

..I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do
Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah he caught my eye,
As we walked on by...
..And I don't think that I'll see him again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end...

..But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

What Would You Do....

....When someone compliments you? Would you feel uneasy in our repressed Asian society? Would you beam and return the compliment?

.... When things don't go your way? Would you stomp your feet in frustration? Would you take a deep breath to analyse the situation? Would you comfort yourself in the knowledge that "the only way is up"?

..... When you fall for the first time in your life? Would you lament about your unfortunate incident, a blemish against your glorious accolades? Would you wallow in self-pity? Would you drag yourself up and stand on your feet again? Would you dismiss the incident and banish it into the darker realms of your memory?

.... When someone tells you he/she is attracted to you? Would your mind wander and speculate the motives involved? Would your ego be inflated to pompous proportions? Would it be one of your mere blase statistics?

..... When someone falls for you? Would you freak out, turn and flee if you didn't reciprocate? Would you stay and work things out as friends? Would you return the affection? Would you pretend it didn't exist?

..... When you discover the truth for yourself? Would you be enraged? Would you be disappointed? Would you walk away in disgust? Would you wonder why you weren't told in the first place? Would you treat it as a lie?

..... When someone drifts away? Would you be frantic? Would you realise you've taken that person for granted? Would you try to rebuild the past? Would you shrug and watch it drift till it's out of sight?

..... When the mundane things, which you've taken for granted, vanishes? Would you shed tears of sorrow? Would you remain indifferent? Would you silently rejoice, for it has become a burden?

..... When someone's attitude towards you changes? Would you be indignant? Would you be afraid? Would you wonder what has gone wrong? Would you attribute it to a definitive fault of yours?

..... When someone is hurt? Would your perception of him/her be that of emotional incumbence? Would you offer words and gestures of comfort? Would you ignore it all, citing that you have enough problems of your own?

..... When you read this? Would you think it's a random rant? Would you wonder if there's a specific purpose? Would you think it's meant for you? Would you remain nonchalant?

What Would You Do?

Tell me. Spill your thoughts.

I want to know.

I need to know.

Monday, September 12, 2005

A trickle. Unbroken.

How do I speak when all is silent?
A trickle.
Unbroken.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Did you ever talk to God above? =Ee's Post-Operation=

"We'll be waiting for you."

With those words, we watched as Ee was wheeled into the theatre at 7am. With nary an hour of sleep, I was at the hospital at 6am. Visibly worried, Uncle Thomas, Koo and Lye took turns to pray for Ee as we gathered by her bedside. Despite the break of dawn, our entire family of eleven turned up in full force. Mum broke down as Ee started to relay instructions as to what was to be done should the operation go awry. I had so much to say to Ee but words failed me. Stone-faced silence walled between us, a crooked smile was all I could offer in those moments.

The turnstiles of time trudged wearily. Each passing hour leeched a fostered augmenting burden.

In solitude, a christian childhood song by Frances Rath repeated its melodious refrains in my head.

Did you ever talk to God above?
Tell him that you need a friend to love
Pray in Jesus’ name
Believing that God answers prayers.

Have you told him all your cares and woes?
Every tiny little fear He knows
You can know He’ll always hear
And He will answer prayers.

You can whisper in a crowd to Him
You can cry when you’re alone with Him
You don’t have to pray out loud to Him
He knows your thoughts.

On a lofty mountain peak He’s there
In a meadow by a stream, He’s there
Everywhere on earth you go,
He’s been there from the start.


Our emotions swung with each door sliding in rhythmic vacillitation. Finally, at 3.30pm, Ee emerged. Tangled tubes convoluting in her delicate constitition, it was a painful sight to bear. The surgeon's expression said it all. With a smile, he reported that operation went smoothly and her will to live was strong. His words were what we needed to allay our worst fears. The first hurdle had been crossed.

Each member of the family took turns to enter the ICU isolatory ward. Ee looked rather peaceful, as if she were merely taking a nap. We left the hospital at 5.30pm, uttering indivdual prayers of gratitude and thanksgiving.

The next 24 hours will be crucial as doctors will be on a vigilant lookout for signs of infection or excess bleeding. God has been merciful to Ee. May He extend this blanket of grace and compassion till she makes a full recovery.

You don’t have to pray out loud to Him
He knows your thoughts.

Ee's Operation: 7.30am

Ee's operation commences at 7.30am. We've got to be there by 6am. The doctor told us grimly that there is a slight chance of bleeding,infection or stroke. After the operation, Ee's got to be on dialysis. It may be permanent. It may be temporal. Ee's kidneys are not functioning well but the doctors persist on having the operation as her heart is in a more critical condition.

I've not been this scared for a long, long while.

Mum's the youngest of the lot in the family. Koo's the eldest. Their age gap is 16 years. Koo, Ee, Eddie (deceased), Small Ee, Lye, Mum. That's how they line up. Only Small Ee and Mum are married. The rest are single. Having lived across their residence all my life, my maternal side means a lot to me. The wide age gap between Koo and Mum means that my uncles and aunts are effectively the age of a typical grandparent.

Ee is 70 this year. Of the three (Girl, Boy and Me), I'm the pet in the entire household. Since young, I was lavished with presents and attention from this maternal side. My word is the final say in most cases. Ee dotes on me the most and yet now, there is nothing I can do to console & assure her. Ee whips up the best Peranakan dishes ever. Ee took me shopping when she could still walk. Now, Ee is lying in bed, helpless to her fate.

Six more hours before she is wheeled into the dreaded theatre. The crucial blimp on the monitor means so much to us now. I'm choking back my tears because I have to be strong. I cannot crumble when everyone has. Someone has to be firm.

I've witnessed the family members shuttling in and out of hospital at a tender age. I've witnessed the withering of my grandmother and Eddie till they breathed their last. I've never seen my grandfather for he'd passed away before Mum got married. I've been to hospitals more often than anyone at my age should. Life and death are a breath away.

I don't want to continue. God, please don't take Ee away from me. Not now.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

fidus Achates

The following is addressed to individual friends who matter to me:

Dear Pal, I didn't know what to say when you sobbed over the phone. I felt guilty for not being able to be by your side. Perhaps I was shocked that it happened out of the blue. I tried to rationalise and analyse the situation you're in but we both know that words are superfluous. The decision is not yours to make. The ball is in her court. There is nothing I can do but to support you through this obstacle ahead of you.

Hello Amigo, I'm sorry I took you for granted. I'm sorry I never asked. It's easy to apologise and let time bury this incident. We've been firm friends for such a long time but I've never realised it till you chided me today, "You never cared to ask." I sensed the bitterness in your voice. I know I've let you down repeatedly and you've always taken it in your stride. You are an important friend to me. You know that, don't you? You're leaving tomorrow. I hope to see you again when you return.

Salutations Brother. I'm glad to see that you've finally found The One and though she keeps a tight rein over you, you've changed for the better. Gone are the days of wild partying, cross-dressing parties in Sydney (you were babelicious, man!), weird hair colours and melancholic rants in the middle of the night. It's hard to get used to the brand new you with brown hair. (your most normal hair colour ever in these seven years!) She's doing a good job! =)

My Friend, there is something which you must know. Perhaps you do. Perhaps you don't. Perhaps you're pretending you don't. I do not know. I think we're withdrawing into the confinements of our fragile shells. Is it sheer coincidence or is it pre-empted on your part? Perhaps I'm doing it subconsciously on my part too. I feel like I know you but yet I do not. We seem to be revelling in a continuum of distance. Are you basking in the shadows, hoping that reality doesn't sink in? Or do you remain nonchalant? Whatever it is, when the time comes, dear Friend, I hope you'll remember me. I hope you won't hate me because despite everything, I never meant to hurt you. Till then, the mystery remains as such.

Sister, I did not answer your calls nor reply to your smses not because I wasn't ready to forgive but rather, perhaps I wasn't ready to forget. It's been nearly eight years since it'd happened. We were the best of friends since we tottered about in kindergarten, holding hands and grappling with petty issues about whose turn it was to be on the swing. That brings a bittersweet smile to my face. You would pop by my house every weekend, relishing in fantasies and roleplaying princesses, chi-chi taitais and such. Growing up, I would spend the holidays at your house, teaching you Maths and English. Your brother and I would waggle our hands in exasperation at having to explain the binomial theorem to you for the nth time. Despite not being academically inclined, you've finally found happiness and finally, those who'd despised you would have to swallow their envy when they realise that you've married one of the most affluent people in that part of Indonesia. I know what'd happened wasn't your fault. Give me time, sister. One day, we'll hug each other in tears again. It will happen. Just give me time.


--It is now 5am. I shall retreat to my world of escapism again. Goodnight.--

Monday, September 05, 2005

Teachers' Day -click click-

My hairstyle of the night. For some strange reason, many teachers from the other schools & even my colleagues asked to touch my hair. A table of teachers was even debating the possibility of me donning a wig since the curls were evenly done. For the record, every strand of hair here is rooted into my scalp. One of my superiors gushed and said that I looked like "a lovely doll". Actually, I didn't quite like the overall styling. I guess the compliments made me feel better... (Note: Despite the curls and formal get-up, I was stopped at dbl O for my IC. What a bummer!)

Jason looking utterly bored while waiting for the programme to commence. A total of six schools gathered in the expansive (and expensive) ballroom. U*B's Number One is very generous indeed.

The Ah Lian gang all spruced up in accordance to the theme "Back to School" while I stick out like a sore thumb in my black halter and asymmetrical skirt without my level teachers.

Land of the Serious. My HOD's next to me. A wonderful superior to have...

The obligatory mugshot with the P4 teachers. Things were a tad too quiet after a while and so, I wandered off .....
Where's Mich?
Negotiating with the Leader of the Lian tribe.
The Ah Lian gang fails to recruit Fandy & me.
Here's Fandy getting in touch with his feminine side. Kelvin's chuckling in the background.

Can you sense Fandy's apprehension on stage? The guy has no inkling nor anticipation of what would happen next....
Jiahui's solo effort in scribbling on Fandy's back for the Best Theme Prize. (Note: Fandy pasted Post-It Notes on his chest for modesty's sake.)
Jiahui & LL's final joint effort.

***** This is only a fraction of the numerous photographs which were taken through the night. As expected, Murphy decided to unleash her Law and my camera battery went flat at this point of time.*****

Oxymoron

Living a life fulfilled isn't about intellectual anecdotes, power sayings or catchy phrases. It is about being practical and searching the core of your existence to manifest that which has been outlined and ordained specifically for you.

An oxymoron emerges yet again.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Happy Teachers' Day!

Good morning, world! Well, technically, it's 3.45pm now and half the day's gone. -yawn- Happy Teachers' Day to all educators out there!

A summary of yesterday's events:
- received an avalanche of presents and cards from pupils. Alywin, my former pupil in 2002, actually came back to hand a present to me. I was genuinely touched by his simple gesture. Another pupil handed me a card on which her simple, sincere words moved me and reminded me why I had joined the profession in the first place.
- Initially, i had anticipated the usual dreary sit-down dinners we've been accustomed to at Meritus Mandarin Hotel every single year. Dank wasn't free for drinks as he had a meeting to attend. Fortunately, the dinner was fun for once and it got to the extent whereby half of us were probably high on alcohol, which led to more noise and silly antics. Our school would probably garner votes for being the wildest last night. The activities led by the emcee (a senior mediacorp artiste) of the entertainment company piled on the screams and laughter. The "Ah Lian" group, led by Jiahui, won the Best Cheer in which they had scrambled at the last minute to pull off a perfect "Ah Lian" rap in Hokkien.Pure entertainment as they rapped effortlessly "Pang qiu kee lai, Pang qiu kee lai, yo yo yo...." (read: raise your hands up, raise your hands up, yo yo yo..." I cannot recall the rest of the rap!)
- The celebration drew to a close at 11pm. About twenty of us made our way to dbl O where we drank and danced, drank and danced, drank and danced... shuttling between dbl O and O bar till it was past 3am.
- Seven of us ended the night with a simple supper that consisted of yummy pratas.
- Hit the bed at 5am.

Pictures & details of the mentioned event will be put up later....

For the first time in a long while, I was really, really happy last night. =)