Ignition.

"You look very chio today," he quipped. I smiled and waved as I nestled into my seat.

('Chio' is a local slang that is used to compliment a pretty female. However, it can be perceived as being derogatory or rude if one does not share a close relationship with said female.)

He got up to accompany me in the snaking queue and left the rest twittering (of the verbal kind) amongst themselves.

He gushed over my shoes.
Then my bag.
It was then that my mind drifted to the time when You were still an undergraduate. The purchase of your bike and car had yet to transpire. Upon realising that the bus you were on had passed my location, you called and asked if I was alone and if You could keep me company. Elated, I was, however, with a friend and had to turn you down, albeit after a long chat.

In another year, I was to meet Di & De. You asked if You could come along. We stood in the queue for eons before we got a table. It was then that De commented, "...I would have thought that he (You) was your guy."

The unmistakable smile and wave that have come to be part of my identity were once again unfurled when our eyes met at the Concierge. That was a year ago.

I cannot must shake off this past.

I had, have and am trying to.

It took me a decade to finally know You and come 2014, another decade would soon go by.

That once feisty and cheerful girl is now weathered.

She'd scarcely noticed the years slipping by,

Till now.

Wait and Wade.

I could type a long narrative here, but I shan't.

Dear You,

Do you fight the pain each day?

Do you ruminate on the What Ifs and If Onlys?

I miss You.

And somewhere, somehow,

I know that You miss me too,

For the culmination of gestures and words have long cemented that.

However, recent weeks have yielded nought.

As each day passes, our salient silence is broken only by what we post on Facebook.

But for some reason, You just wouldn't say.

I've been walking in circles, trying to pull away but each time I do, things would go askew and I'd come running right back to You.

The reverse is true as You'd get me lil gifts or find a reason to surprise me though I'd tried to run away from You time and time again.

It is why we've been on this carousel for almost a decade.

Dear You,

If You are doing this for my own good or because of _________,

Know that it isn't so.

Know that by protecting me in this manner, it actually gnaws away at my frail frame.

Don't protect me by building a wall.

We cannot go on like this.

Each night, we wallow in our pain and Facebook is our only outlet of covert communication via cryptic posts. It is our haven of escapism.

= Aug 2013 (Whatsapp) =
Me : Swim back to me and take me to where You are!
You : Swim, Swim, Swim....

Dear You,

I cannot swim,

But I can learn to Wade.