Wait and Wade.

I could type a long narrative here, but I shan't.

Dear You,

Do you fight the pain each day?

Do you ruminate on the What Ifs and If Onlys?

I miss You.

And somewhere, somehow,

I know that You miss me too,

For the culmination of gestures and words have long cemented that.

However, recent weeks have yielded nought.

As each day passes, our salient silence is broken only by what we post on Facebook.

But for some reason, You just wouldn't say.

I've been walking in circles, trying to pull away but each time I do, things would go askew and I'd come running right back to You.

The reverse is true as You'd get me lil gifts or find a reason to surprise me though I'd tried to run away from You time and time again.

It is why we've been on this carousel for almost a decade.

Dear You,

If You are doing this for my own good or because of _________,

Know that it isn't so.

Know that by protecting me in this manner, it actually gnaws away at my frail frame.

Don't protect me by building a wall.

We cannot go on like this.

Each night, we wallow in our pain and Facebook is our only outlet of covert communication via cryptic posts. It is our haven of escapism.

= Aug 2013 (Whatsapp) =
Me : Swim back to me and take me to where You are!
You : Swim, Swim, Swim....

Dear You,

I cannot swim,

But I can learn to Wade.

'...and You let her go.'

(1) Talk is cheap.
If you like me, tell me.
If you miss me, show me.
If you love me, prove it.

(2) 'Don't you ever say
I just walked away
I will always want you.

All I ever wanted was to break your walls
...I just closed my eyes and swung...'

~ Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball

(3) 'Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
Coz you loved her too much and you dive too deep

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And You let her go'

~ Passenger, Let Her Go

Then, You reached out and Liked it.

Burying my face in my hands, I wept bitterly.

I miss You, too.

But I have to go.

I must.

Time After Time.

In times like this,
I'll think of You -

Of how You used to comfort me.
No matter what was wrong,
You'd turned my tears into a smile.
And everything would fall into place
In a magical instant.

Now, I'll just box up that thought,
Wrap it with pretty flowing ribbons
And put You away.

Till the next Time.

Pain.

"The tears fall,
They're so easy to wipe off onto my sleeve,
But how do I erase the stain from my heart?"

You were there
When I needed someone.

You've since drifted
Leaving the trace of none.

Having no one to turn to,
No one I trust enough to share with.
No one who would reply me in the middle of the night.

There was You.

My lips quiver and trickles fall.
But now, I must go on.

I chose to live without You.
Without You, I must live.